#which is also the foundation of their relationship
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
crazy-pages · 1 day ago
Text
Hey, just to make this clear, first of all yes it is absolutely possible to love bomb somebody without consciously recognizing that is what you are doing. Second of all it is associated with cluster B personality disorders because it is associated with cluster B personality disorders (specifically narcissistic and borderline personality disorder). When somebody has a personality disorder which is correctly diagnosed, it means they behave in a way which meets certain criteria for behavior and self-described thought processes, for psychological reasons associated with learned/induced behaviors as opposed to innate psychiatric difference. Doing things like love bombing is literally part of the diagnostic criteria for these disorders.
These tend to be oriented around common behavioral traits and thought patterns whicy amplified to such a degree that they form a qualitatively distinct behavioral pattern than you see in the general population. And specifically, for these to be personality disorders as opposed to simply atypical behavioral patterns, they must be harmful to the individual, those around them, or both. Cluster B is specifically characterized by harm to those around the person with the personality disorder.
For example, love bombing. The desire to put one's best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship, or overcompensating for the fear of not being deemed good enough by a prospective partner, is common and natural. Not necessarily healthy, but common. Love bombing in cluster B personality disorders represents an escalation of this behavior to such a degree but it must be understood differently.
And it is particularly associated with narcissistic personality disorder (see this dissertation), and also the impulsive and discourage subtypes of borderline personality disorder. There are janky bullshit articles out there about this, but this research ain't part of that.
Love Bombing primarily occurs in the initial phases of many narcissistic relationships and is characteristic of premature, highly concentrated compliments, attention, and gifts indicating interest and love (Perrotta, 2020). This is a strategy that will draw people in quickly and provide prospective partners with a carefully curated set of romantic gestures designed to present a highly attractive image to the specific person they are wooing (Back et al., 2013) and they may seem exceptionally responsive.
According to Lawler’s affect theory of social exchange (2001), when there is an accuracy and intensity to fulfilling the emotional states in a dyad by a partner, this can serve to create stronger attachment to that partner or to the foundation of the relationship, which is also what later can buoy the strength of the trauma bond. As was seen in PNT [partner of individual with narcissistic traits] narratives, love bombing tends to decrease dramatically once the PNT has become enmeshed within the relationship, and more negative INT [individual with narcissistic traits] behaviors emerge (Perrotta, 2020).
It's extremely rare for someone to be love bombing in a deliberately Machiavellian way where they are perching their fingers and saying "hohohoho, once I have finished love bombing them they will find it that much harder to leave me when I start abusing them". What's far more common is for people to find out by trial and error that it works, to learn by example that it works from others in their life, to do so reflexively out of a fear of not having control over whether they are reciprocally loved, or because they feel it entitles them to reciprocal treatment. Or any combination of the above or more.
And approaching relationships in this way, anywhere on the spectrum from unintentionally approaching relationships in an unhealthy way, to accidentally harming others, to maliciously using it as an abuse tactic, are all common ways that love bombing presents itself as a behavior in many people with narcissistic and borderline personality disorder. Again, the diagnostic criteria of these disorders literally includes this as an indicator.
This doesn't mean there aren't problems with the field of psychology and these disorders by any means. Antisocial personality disorder in particular has gaping holes in the methodology in the history of its criteria that you could fly a plane through. Histrionic personality disorder is falling out of favor because it's just not characterized by terribly distinct behavioral patterns and there's a push to get it relegated to particular extremes of personality indices instead. And borderline personality disorder specifically has a really terrible history of being wielded as a weapon against women in relationships with abusive men, because emotional swings and outbursts are very common (and reasonable!!!) when getting out of an abusive relationship, and when combined with common patterns of lies that abusers tell about their partners that can often be misdiagnosed as borderline personality disorder.
And yes, there is also a particularly bad history with discrediting experiences of people with borderline personality disorder, especially women, you're never going to find me going to bat for psychology as a flawless institution because it fucking ain't.
But NPD and BPD literally have love bombing as one of the suggestive diagnostic signifiers, for a reason. This one ain't bullshit, this one is well established by the research. Also, these are not lifelong diagnoses, they can be managed, treated, or moved past. That's admittedly very rare for narcissistic personality disorder but it does happen with less severe examples, and it is not uncommon for borderline personality disorder.
There is a long ass gap between "don't automatically tar people with cluster B disorders as inhuman monsters" (reasonable) and denying one of the diagnostic indicators of NPD and BPD is associated with cluster B (unhinged).
Love bombing is not a euphemism for "too much affection too soon," or "high desire for contact."
"Love bombing" is a term originally used in the context of cults to describe a deliberate and coordinated recruitment method that involved feigning friendship and interest in a potential recruit, via flattery, flirtation, physical affection, and very directed positive attention to everything the recruit says in order to lure them into the cult.
Since cults and abusive relationships operate in similar ways and use similar tactics, love bombing in an interpersonal relationship looks like manufacturing closeness in order to trap someone into a relationship in which the abuser has all the control.
And I know these days there's a million bullshit junky articles out there that make you think this is a symptom of cluster b personality disorders, but there is no way for you to be love bombing somebody without realizing it.
If you are an affectionate person and the level of affection and attention you give makes someone uncomfortable, you are not "accidentally" abusing them.
If you are uncomfortable with the level of affection and attention someone is paying you, they are not de facto abusing you.
Love bombing is about using someone's desire for human connection to fast track them into a situation you control that they will feel disinclined to leave.
56K notes · View notes
secriden · 1 day ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.
It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:
Tumblr media
At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:
Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.
In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:
Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?
Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.
Tumblr media
I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:
Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.
Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.
Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.
And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.
Tumblr media
I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.
It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).
So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.
Tumblr media
What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:
Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.
This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.
I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.
Tumblr media
But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.
Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.
Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.
Tumblr media
And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.
146 notes · View notes
sweetpapercroissant · 1 year ago
Text
i don’t get the appeal of an incest ship if you’re only ever going to focus on the good romantic feelings and not the icky negative ones. the resentment the feeling of being trapped shackled wanting out and away from the person who knows so much too much about you since before you even knew to not allow it but at the same time you can’t imagine living in a world without them being away is like tearing a limb a piece of your soul you will never again be complete without them. no one else will ever understand you the way they do no one else will ever get so deep under your skin and you may hate it but you hate the thought of them not being there even more you can’t stand to see anyone else get to a part of them you didn’t and even worse when they get it before you. you push and you push and you push but when they let go it’s like you’re free falling and it doesn’t matter how far away you run you will never be far enough away because you carry them inside you everywhere you go. you tell yourself you want nothing more than to get away but they’re the only home you will ever have and you won’t ever let anyone get that close you’re already moulded to only fit in perfectly with them and you didn’t have a choice but this is who you are. there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go but there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go. you want to be so close to them you want to merge your bodies into one you hate how crowded you feel when they’re in the same room like they’re sucking in all the air and there isn’t any left for you and you want to get away so you can just breathe but you don’t even want to breathe in the air that hasn’t passed through their lungs first you hate that you feel this way you wish you could claw it out of your veins but then who would you be without it without them you want so much and it’s so ugly and you’re ashamed of how raw that need is how you want every part the good the bad the human you wish none of this had ever happened you feel dirty you never even had a chance to find something else be something else but then you look over and you love them so much so much and when it comes down to it nothing else was ever going to be enough for you anyway.
75 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 1 year ago
Text
in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
8K notes · View notes
aroaceleovaldez · 4 months ago
Text
i am once again thinking about Percy and Annabeth and their respective relationships with their step-parents, particularly how the other views the other's dynamic with their step-parents.
Because there's a really interesting subtle thing that we see which is when Annabeth talks about her step-mom to Percy, Percy's assumption is that Annabeth's step-mom is like Gabe. He just presumes that because that's what's familiar with him and based on his own experiences he assumes their situations are similar.
But then when Percy actually meets Annabeth's step-mom (and her dad) he realizes their situations aren't at all the same. He was expecting another Gabe, but instead he just found a genuinely caring family that was just struggling to find their footing with one another.
The interesting thing is that this implies an inverse - especially with what we know about how Percy and Annabeth describe their experiences. Percy doesn't really talk about Gabe ever. To anyone. Grover knows the whole picture there but he's basically the only one of Percy's friends who does. As far as we know, unless Grover told her at some point, Annabeth doesn't know about Gabe. She knows he was a jerk, but Percy out loud doesn't ever really get into details about it. She knows they didn't get along and eventually Gabe disappeared and Percy basically never spoke of it again. Presumably, Annabeth thinks Percy's dynamic with Gabe was like her dynamic with her step-mom, like how Percy had thought their situations were the same. Especially given we know Percy assumed their situations were the same and likely spoke about it as such if it ever came up.
Like. That's such an interesting tiny aspect of their dynamic that never gets touched upon. Annabeth likely doesn't know about this very core traumatic experience Percy endured before they met because she's operating under the assumption that their family just was a little rocky like hers was.
548 notes · View notes
lloydfrontera · 2 years ago
Text
the way lloyd will mourn being single and complain about how unfair life is by making some guys extremely handsome. all while being followed around by literally the hottest guy in the world who's hopelessly devoted to him and who has already planned on spending the rest of his life at his side. like. ok. fuck me i guess
765 notes · View notes
delicatebatharmony · 9 months ago
Text
Who was Tim's Robin? Who was Duke's Robin?
No, no, no. This is all we need to worry about:
Tumblr media
Teen Titans (2003) #92
189 notes · View notes
thelilylav · 6 months ago
Text
I’ve gotta admit as much as I know Darabella is a flawed ship (and some of the ppl who are anti for it have legit criticisms I love y’all for pointing it out cause it frustrates the hell out of me too trust) they’ll always just kind of be it for me.
Because as much as it was an “I can fix him” trope, as much as Rosabella could be selfish and Daring’s flaws got cranked up to 1000, she was also the first person to look at him after his destiny, the thing he dedicated his life to, failed, when people were questioning him as a prince and putting pressure on his and Apple’s relationship and tell him that, like, maybe it would be alright? Maybe this wasn’t his destiny, and maybe that was okay.
And the part that really gets me? She’s the first person after this happens to tell him that it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside, which as much as you can like other Daring ships or him whatever he desperately needed to hear. Not even cause he was selfish, that’s not what I’m saying, but bc he placed his whole identity on this image that people concocted for him based on him appearing the perfect prince. He was handsome, he was talented, and he was handsome! So who cares about him as a person?
Idk man. You spend four seasons (I watch the specials on Netflix so that’s why four idk if it’s three to some ppl or whatever tho) watching him be praised for his looks, watching girls fawn over him, and of course he enjoys it so nobody really questions how much he enjoys it. And then you get this girl, this girl who owes him nothing, this girl who (contrary to popular belief apparently) has a life of her own and people she cares about outside of him, and she’s nice to him. And she’s the first person after everything happens to just be nice to him, for the sake of being nice. Something about that will always hit different for me
103 notes · View notes
invasive · 10 months ago
Text
Labru (shrug) I just might like it
20 notes · View notes
alamari-chibi · 15 days ago
Text
life is so weird
4 notes · View notes
littlespoonevan · 6 months ago
Text
ngl I personally find it incredibly weird how many people on the internet are so staunchly against syd and carmy falling in love because ‘there aren’t enough male/female friendships on tv’ when there are characters with less chemistry and less potential than them that’ve been shoved together and shipped over and over for literal decades
9 notes · View notes
laugtherhyena · 7 months ago
Note
I AM HERE with a short fic or whatever.
-
"Look, I don't think you're ruined."
Kizuna ran her fingers over the faded scar on her stomach. It had been so many years since her best friend told her that, but it kept her going.
Her beauty had stopped meaning so much to her after that. She stopped wearing so much makeup. She stopped with the intense skin care routines and let her skin wrinkle and blemish. The moment she got her first gray hair, she accepted it.
Hell, she didn't even care about the stretch marks that appeared on her thighs and belly. It was natural, and she loved it.
If Kanata had taught her anything, it was that it was okay to not be perfect. She didn't have to struggle up the mountain to reach her mother's expectations, and that... that's what mattered most to her.
"Kizuna!," Ayame called from down the hall, "are you just about ready? It's Akira's wedding today, we gotta get there early!"
The pinkette tore her gaze from the mirror, a sorrowful sigh escaping her lips. "I'm coming, dear! Just tying up my hair!"
Ayame grunted playfully at that, but no more was said.
"Kanata," Kizuna whispered to the mirror after a bit, "i hope you're proud of me. I've changed, I've become better... your sacrifice wasn't for nothing. Thank you for believing in me."
And then she headed on her way, to celebrate something-- someone-- that she was most proud of.
Her daughter.
-
Thats all i got okay byebye
SCREAMING AND CRYING AND GOING INSANE MAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH‼️‼️
Like wow i don't even know what to say, the way you wrote Kizuna accepting the effects of aging without trying to hide them or look younger all because of how much Kanata helped her get through this kind of mindset, and how she's still very dear to her even tho she's been dead for a long time now,, that's just so sweet
Akira being someone she's so proud of is awesome too because i love picturing Kizuna wanting to be the best mother she can to her even if she screws up at times. Knowing first hand how it is to grow up with shitty parents, she wants to give her something she didn't had growing up :]
7 notes · View notes
dullahandyke · 7 months ago
Text
and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
8 notes · View notes
beloved-child-of-the-house · 9 months ago
Text
so i'm writing an 8th year fic and h&d are taking a muggle studies class together in which they read one of shakespeare's plays, and i'm trying to write a final project (for which they are partners) but like. hogwarts academics don't seem all that uhhhhh rigorous to me (like we see the students complaining about having to write a foot of parchment which is essentially ONE PAGE HANDWRITTEN) and i'm a little worried that my assignment is too rigorous.
it involves a lot of like. thinking analytically and using your imagination wrt the motivations of people unlike yourself, and that's not rlly something they do much at hogwarts as far as i can see. BUT it is muggle studies, and like. they could definitely all use some practice at those skills, following the recent implosion of their society.
#i showed it to my spouse who is a hs teacher#'where are they getting the books for this research? are there wizarding books about macbeth?' no there are not#the professor chose macbeth bc it has these concepts that will be familiar to them like witchcraft and prophesy#but presented from a muggle perspective#and also bc shakespeare is foundational to english literature and culture and it's good to be familiar with his work#and also bc they don't have a lot of experience with art esp language arts which is so so so sad and this will broaden their world#and ALSO bc shakespeare wrote before the statute of secrecy was signed which hopefully sparks their imaginations#to what extent might shakespeare's work have been impacted by ambient magic? or rumors of magic?#and if they had like a regular english literature education#they could talk about like the role of outcasts in shakespeare's work and whether magical people fit into that role#but they do not so we have to be a bit more literal#for the students that are prepared to like dig into this stuff it could be a very engaging experience#but most of them will prob be a bit lazy with it right? and maybe just resent the assignment and not get much out of it#and like!!!!#this assignment is literally just an excuse to have H&D putting their heads together in the library#and bring their relationship/the fact that they've been warming up to each other and spending time together out into the open#in a plausible deniability sort of way#a friendship soft launch if you will#i get a little carried away about these details sometimes#like if i mention the characters getting sandwiches i will look up menus for places they could plausibly have gotten sandwiches in that are#to make sure the sandwiches i mention are reasonable sandwiches#i heard some dumb story about meghan markle freaking out about not being able to get avocado when she was in the uk#and i remembered a fic i had written where aziraphale and crowley eat egg and avocado sandwiches#and i felt ashamed#an implausible sandwich!!!!
9 notes · View notes
transgendercastiel · 9 months ago
Text
it’s so hard out here as an abedison disliker
#the truest repairman posts#These tags are long as shit sorry#im not fandom tagging this one because it’s not really about that it’s more like.#Guys I don’t see it…#At ALL#and obviously I know why I don’t but it feels like sometimes I’m just pulling the “can’t people be friends” card which sucks#And is NOT the argument I’m trying I can assure you#I don’t see it in a romantic or even. Even a qpr way??#They just seem like friends to me?#Even then I always see people singing the praises of their dynamic in s6 (obviously helped by the fact that Alison and Danny are friends#which is lovely obviously) but even then ehhhh. It’s not that compelling#They’re friends and I appreciate their relationship the same as I enjoy the rest of the group and their interpersonal connections#The things people point out to just come across personally like character moments between them? Not romantic in the slightest?#Even when they kissed- usually I can find a lot of appreciation for canon relationships in shows I like#Even if I disagree with the characterisation#But it really just felt like capital N Nothing to me#Also#As I’ve made very clear#I am a lesbian Annie truther 100%#I just don’t think I could ever read her another way without taking out the foundation of her character in my mind#And idk I dig non binary abed perspectives but they aren’t the ones I tend to examine the show with#Any more than I use the perspective that he’s queer as in peculiar as much as queer as in Queer#All this said 100% respect to the abedison shippers out there you do excellent work#It’s just not for me#Anti abedison#I want to clarify this post is NOT anti abedison at all but I don’t want people who are just having a nice time to have to see this
7 notes · View notes
boysborntodie · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
So now that the musical is coming out, I'm so excited but also nervous
#like interpret the relationship however you want#i just hope that we don't get *those* people who think shipping jally (friends with a relationship that could be interpreted as familial)#is problematic (i know it sounds dramatic but there's so many people like this)#personally i don't like seeing jally's relationship as older brother figure/younger brother figure#like platonic or qpp jally is 💖💕💗#but pigeonholing them into a brother dynamic feels like forcing certain roles onto them#dally being an older brothee who feels responsibility towards johnny and taking care of him#and johnny looking up to dally and wanting to be like him#like that is a part of their relationship a very fundamental one#but they're also equals???#like not that siblings aren't equals ofc#but they have power dynamics and roles (which aren't inherently bad!!!)#like take the curtises#their ages and order are such fundamental parts of them and are the foundation of their dynamic#but johnny and dally are different#they feel like they would have that power dynamic#but we learn for all of dally's pride and power he's willing to throw that away and even admit yo vulnerability for johnny#while johnny doesn't idolize dallt but sees all his flaws and imperfections and admires him not inspite but because of them#ugh idk how to explain it but yeah#the outsiders#johnny cade#dallas winston#jally#se hinton#dally winston#the only reason i want to see people hating on jally is because they find the shippers annoying or something#in which cause ty<33
13 notes · View notes